A High School Fairy Tale - Conclusions

A. She's from the Men In Black

"I'm sure you've hooked many a girl with your alien appeal, but I've got news for you, ET. I've been tracking you for six weeks now and I know all about your Communist schemes. You're on my planet now; I make the rules."
Reaching into a hidden fold in her skirt, she produced a deadly CHR-Vortrex mini-pistol.
"You're under arrest under Article 432.4 of the Universal Code of Inter-species Conduct for unauthorized entry of a Class 3 planet, and Article 3453.9 for conspiring to unlawfully absorb a level 6 species." She stood to her feet, aiming the weapon straight at his head.
"Wait!" he stood up quickly. "I'm not really an alien. I planted that extra-terrestrial signal to set you on my trail. I lied about the goo planet! It was all a plan to get you to blow your cover, so that I could discover if the government really had a level 7!"
She hesitated, her eyes never leaving his.
"If that's true, then you'll have no problem with this fail-proof extra-terrestrial detector."
She produced a mysterious pen-like object with a shining, red tip. A brilliant flash, and he found himself standing alone at the overlook. Fond memories of boy-band karaoke lingered in his head.

B. She believes him and kisses him passionately

She smiled coyly and leaned in close, enrapturing him for one soaring moment in the sweet embrace of her chocolate minty lips.
He decided that collective consciousness could wait.

C. A zombie crashes their date

She opened her mouth to speak.
"GRAAAAUUUHH!"
They leapt from the bench, swinging around in time to see a pale, slumping figure in a military uniform emerging gracelessly from the woods with one arm extended towards them.
He glanced quickly at the steep, sheer cliff behind them. Fleeing would not be an option.
Fighting didn't turn out to be that big of problem though. The decayed flesh of the living dead lends itself easily to dismemberment. The zombie quickly found itself limbless.
He reached down to turn up it's name plate. "A little too long in the gas chamber, eh Revere?"
Revere didn't appreciate the remark. He bit into his hand, prompting him to send the torso snarling over the edge of the cliff.
Revere's saliva quickly spread through his bloodstream. It would be a matter of seconds before he turned.
"Quick!" she cried as she took his hand. "Rearrange your molecules to absorb me. It's your only chance!"
A smile stretched across his rapidly decaying face.
"You chose to believe me. I won't take that power from you by absorbing your individuality. Besides, the Revere zombie is giving me a head rush like no other!"