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David Revere
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Pinkerton the Great

Pinkerton Mutkiss didn't mean to have a name like that. It was Mr. and Mrs. Mutkiss's idea. They had named him after a beloved uncle who was a lifelong butler. But when he explained this to his fellow 4th graders at Alice Bell's birthday party, they found it amusing to call him over for random services throughout the day.
"Oh Pinkerton, be a dear and get me some more ice cream?"
"Pinky, what do you think you're doing, playing freeze tag with us? Don't you have dishes to do?"
Then Ramon Iglesias rubbed birthday cake in his hair. "Dash it all, Pinky," he sang to the tune of the other kids' laughter. "I've gone and dropped my cake! Do go and clean it up for me."
"Don't forget to bring me a new piece!" he added as Pinky shuffled off to the kitchen.
"Oh chin up," said Pinky to the boy in the window reflection above the sink, who responded with three big crocodile tears.
"You're good looking after all: green eyes, a few freckles, and now with fashionably messy brown hair, though the icing needs to be rubbed in just a little more for texture."
He was in the act of slicking it up when Alice Bell walked up behind him.
"Oh Pinkerton," she exclaimed.
Pinky looked at her through the reflection. "Blonde hair, yellow ribbons, blue eyes, daisy dress."
Alice's mouth dropped open.
Pinky stopped. "Did I say that out loud?"
"Pinkerton," she repeated slightly softer.
Never in his entire life had his name sounded so magical.
"I just wanted to tell you... I think Pinkerton Mutkiss is the greatest name I've ever heard!"
She came up beside him, kissed him on the cheek, and ran out the door before his neurons, who had spontaneously started tap dancing, had time to tell him what had just happened.
"Pinkerton." he said with dramatic gusto to the boy in the reflection.
"Pinkerton Mutkiss. I must say it's the greatest name I've ever heard too!"
When he came back to where the other kids were playing tag outside, he was armed with a big piece of cake with chocolate ice cream on top.
He aimed the huge sticky concoction at Ramon like he was about to pitch a fastball.
When Ramon hit the deck with a small squeal, Pinky couldn't quite contain a chortle. "Oh dear. Got you there, Ramon!"
Everyone giggled, including Ramon, as he picked himself back up.
Then, to the rapt attention of all, Pinky lifted the dessert up slowly with both hands as if he was offering some kind of tribal sacrifice. In one sudden burst, he smashed the entire dripping sweetness into his own face.
"Did you think I would waste all this perfectly good cake and ice cream on you?"
But in the end, with a wild whoop and a calvary charge, he decided to share it with Ramon.

2 comments:

bobsnodgrass said...

Was it a unisex bathroom?

David Revere said...

Good catch! I changed the location to the kitchen.